Note from Editor: This is a reprint from my old Geocities.com website. Geocities closed down in October 2009, but in the wake of continued invasions from TSA, this page has never been more appropriate. Other than fix the broken image links, it is reproduced here as it was originally published back in 2001. Enjoy.
Most of you who read this have known me for years. Am I a drug dealer? No. Am I a murderer? No. Am I a terrorist? No. I am squeaky Midwest Fly-over clean. So why am I selected "at random" for a secondary security shake down EVERY TIME I board an airplane? Simple: racial profiling. I am approachable. Complete strangers seek me out to ask for directions. People ask me for the time even when they can't see my watch. Racial profiling. I am being discriminately selected because I am approachable. That's my profile. Don't believe it? Why then aren't I patted down when travelling as a family with wife and baby? It's simple really: the inspection process wants easy inspections. Can you imagine them going through the diaper bag, stroller, car seat, toys, bottles, etc.? They can't either and that's why they skip me when travelling as a family.
Is this a problem? Am I against post-9/11 airport security? Certainly not. What slays me is the misguided method security personnel use to "randomly" select me: the least threatening, most approachable passenger in line. Does this strike you as an efficient way to spend our tax dollars? Do the words "Transportation Security Administration" make you think of money well spent? The next time you are reviewing your paycheck stub, whip out your calculator and figure out how much of your hard earned cash is headed to Washington to fund the Transportation Security Administration. As you recover from the shock, think of Ahmed searching my briefcase with his metal detector.
THIS JUST IN: To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, the soft underbelly of America recently decried that airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors. Let's pause a moment and take the following test:
In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbutt
(b) Sitting Bull
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. Embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Lost Norwegians
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
(a) John Dillinger
(b) The King of Sweden
(c) The Boy Scouts
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Pee Wee Herman
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
(a) The Smurfs
(b) Davy Jones
(c) The Little Mermaid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
(a) Captain Kidd
(b) Charles Lindberg
(c) Mother Teresa
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was blown apart by a bomb placed by:
(a) Scooby Doo
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
(a) Richard Simmons
(b) Grandma Moses
(c) Michael Jordan
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's womanizing
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote "Mustapha the Merciless"
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In October, 2000, the USS Cole was almost sunk and 17 sailors were killed by a bomb floated next to the ship in a rubber raft by: (a) Tonya Harding's bodyguard
(b) A coalition of LA Clipper and Detroit Tiger fans
(c) Crash test dummies
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida
(c) O.J. Simpson
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
(a) Enron
(b) Pedophile priests
(c) Gary Condit
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
(a) Puff Daddy
(b) Captain Kangaroo
(c) Billy Graham
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
You get the point. Truth be told, I am all for racial profiling, good ol' detective work, intuition, and any other method that helps law enforcement civil servants rid us of the criminal element fouling our society. Things definitely took a turn for the worse on September 11th, the latest day to live in infamy. I don't mind taking my turn in life's random queue, but the thought that America's response to 9/11 is to search me for weapons is appalling. Get mad. Speak up. Thanks for reading.
Is this a problem? Am I against post-9/11 airport security? Certainly not. What slays me is the misguided method security personnel use to "randomly" select me: the least threatening, most approachable passenger in line. Does this strike you as an efficient way to spend our tax dollars? Do the words "Transportation Security Administration" make you think of money well spent? The next time you are reviewing your paycheck stub, whip out your calculator and figure out how much of your hard earned cash is headed to Washington to fund the Transportation Security Administration. As you recover from the shock, think of Ahmed searching my briefcase with his metal detector.
THIS JUST IN: To ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, the soft underbelly of America recently decried that airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors. Let's pause a moment and take the following test:In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
(a) Olga Corbutt
(b) Sitting Bull
(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1979, the U.S. Embassy in Iran was taken over by:
(a) Lost Norwegians
(b) Elvis
(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
(a) John Dillinger
(b) The King of Sweden
(c) The Boy Scouts
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
(a) A pizza delivery boy
(b) Pee Wee Herman
(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
(a) The Smurfs
(b) Davy Jones
(c) The Little Mermaid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
(a) Captain Kidd
(b) Charles Lindberg
(c) Mother Teresa
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was blown apart by a bomb placed by:
(a) Scooby Doo
(b) The Tooth Fairy
(c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
(a) Richard Simmons
(b) Grandma Moses
(c) Michael Jordan
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
(a) Mr. Rogers
(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's womanizing
(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote "Mustapha the Merciless"
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In October, 2000, the USS Cole was almost sunk and 17 sailors were killed by a bomb floated next to the ship in a rubber raft by: (a) Tonya Harding's bodyguard
(b) A coalition of LA Clipper and Detroit Tiger fans
(c) Crash test dummies
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:
(a) Bugs Bunny, Wile E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
(b) The Supreme Court of Florida
(c) O.J. Simpson
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
(a) Enron
(b) Pedophile priests
(c) Gary Condit
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
(a) Puff Daddy
(b) Captain Kangaroo
(c) Billy Graham
(d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
You get the point. Truth be told, I am all for racial profiling, good ol' detective work, intuition, and any other method that helps law enforcement civil servants rid us of the criminal element fouling our society. Things definitely took a turn for the worse on September 11th, the latest day to live in infamy. I don't mind taking my turn in life's random queue, but the thought that America's response to 9/11 is to search me for weapons is appalling. Get mad. Speak up. Thanks for reading.
